Parent-children Relationship.

Recently, I watched this television show on channel 8: "Your Hand In Mine". Frankly, this show is a bore. However, this particular episiode was a bit different.

The scene was first of a mother talking to her daughter's teacher. The mother was telling the teacher that she does not want a boy in a class(his name is H20), to mix around with her daughter, and that she wants the boy to be stopped by the teacher if he tries to go near her. The teacher says that that is not the way,but the mother insists. She then says that parents are always right.

The second scene shows the mother confronting the boy, and telling him straight in the face not to make friends with her daughter, her daughter witnesses these, and is furious at her mother's domineering ways.

The mother wants to control the daugter's life as she fears that she would have bad company, so she goes to the extent of limiting the friends the daughter mixes with.

This doesnt go well with the daughter, who feels that she is old enough to run her own life, and does not want to be like a robot.

Often, many of us feel the same way, parents and children (teenagers especially), have different perspectives, parents view that they are always right due to the "sheer weight" of experience which helps them to make the right descision, as compared to teenagers, whom they feel are too young, inexperienced and rash to make their own choices.

Teenagers on the other hand, feel that they have matured enough to be able to make their own teenagers, and feel it rude of parents to try and intefere with their lives, they too think that they are always right.

This hence causes conflicts between both parties.

With the supposed rising of teenage misbehaviour, like underage sex, smoking, playing truant, the natural instinct of a parent trying to keep his/her child on the right track kicks into action, causing them to take "preventive measures", and restricting them in everything they do. Parents nowadays are of the common view that a child shouldnt be given much freedom to do much they want to do, as when they are young, they tend to do wrong things. Yes, parents do have some fault in trying to dominate their children's life, however, all this is done because the parent loves his child.

Teenagers, on the other hand, do not intepret it this way. They feel that parents are restricting them and trying to stop them in everything they do, and making them do "good stuff" simply because parents want to use them to brag about in front of friends and relatives. They feel angered when parents insist on something and seemingly do not care about their own needs. As adolescents, we would want to venture out and experience things, the last thing we want is to be resticted by people, and that is often precisely what teenagers to feel irritation, and occasionally, dislike for their parents.

Frankly, there is no specific or detailed reason to solving this ever-present problem between the teenager and his/her parent. The solution is simply to think from the other party's point of view. To have an agreement, one must have a compromise, which would be impossible if both teens and parents stubornly stick to their own mindset on what they think is right. If parents restrict children too much, they will come to resist the dictatorship imposed on them and fight back, like a rubber band stretched too much will snap. However, if parents let children have to much freedom, things will go out of control, as children after all, do not have adequate experience to make the correct judgement.

Hence, I feel that,parents should have "freedom with guidance", meaning that both sides meet halfway, that teenagers are able to decide what's good for them, but if they are unsure, they would have to consult their parents. Good communication is essential for agreements to be made. Such conflicts are caused due to a lack of communication where both parents and children firmly believe in their own stand and do not understand why they think so differently, the parent children relationship is worsened due to misintepretation of each others intention.

Overall, Communication and putting yourself in the shoes of others is the way to solving the widening gulf in relationships between the child and the parent.